Monday, November 8, 2021

THE LIFE IN MY YEARS

Written and posted on Instagram September 19, 2021 on my 68th birthday

Chilton County HS 1971

I've come a long way and outgrown so much, like being too quick to criticize and judge others, which is a typical Virgo trait. I’ve corrected that in my personality though. Instead, I practice when people show you who they are, believe them and either I accept them as they are without expecting them to change or I distance myself from them.

Sometimes I overthink things. It’s because I feel too much and value emotions and love to the point of tears. I'm still discovering and rediscovering things about myself, even now at age 68, and I like that.

I've survived a lot . . . the death of both parents before age 11, years of mental torture and violent beatings by a stepmother who was filled with anger from her own childhood trauma and was incapable of loving me as a parent, an emancipated minor at age 16, divorce, and financial instability.

I accept these struggles because they did not crush me; instead, they made me a kinder and more loving, empathetic, compassionate, generous, and sympathetic person. They brought me closer to God where I discovered that the more that I love Him, the more love I have for myself for He is me, and I am Him, and we are one in the Holy Spirit.

God blessed me with a son and two daughters, and my daughters blessed me with seven grandchildren between them. I lived in Japan for two years with my husband who was in the U.S. Air Force. I’ve traveled a lot throughout the U.S. and I lived in California for 26 years, where all three of my children were born, before relocating to the East coast in 1996.

It was at age 16 that I discovered that writing was my God-given talent which comes to me as natural as breathing. Thus far I’ve written well over a half million words: two linear novels, published book of life-affirming essays, publisher and editor of a magazine/journal, published poetry book, published articles, essays, and poetry, and wrote five songs and recorded a demo of them, and other writings.

It was through writing that I confronted my fears. I’ve written works of fiction to address things from my past that haunted me by creating characters to portray my inner turmoil and pain. I've written nonfiction to encourage and inspire others, and business and technical writings to earn money.

I graduated from college with a degree in social science and computer technology. I designed the curriculum and implemented the first vocational computer programming and word processing course in the State of California in 1981, and taught the course for high school students and adults in the Los Angeles school district for seven years. The curriculum that I created became the foundation for future computer technology training courses in the state. In addition, as an educator one of my fondest and rewarding life assignment was teaching Civics and Social Studies at the eighth grade level in Fairfax County Virginia.

I know without a hint of doubt that my God is real for I can feel His love flow through my veins. I discovered that connection at age 10. I praise Him for allowing me to lean on Him during times when it’s too hard for me to stand on my own. He’s the reason that I’ve made it this far. I promised Him in 1978 that I would not become too attached to people, places, or things that keep me from fulfilling His purpose for me, that I would be a faithful servant and go wherever He leads me, and do what He wants me to do because I trust Him.

I accept ALL of my past, and I have no regrets. I have very fond memories that I carry in my heart and I've had a LOT of fun and good times. I've met a lot of good and honest people, and I have people in my life who genuinely love me, and I love them back like my youngest sister Angela who is my loyalist and staunchest supporter. I trust her with my life.  I wouldn’t change a thing about my life because changing just one thing, changes everything.

My hope is boundless. It knows no end. Therefore, I shall trust my God because my faith is stubborn and it has taught me that the good things come those who are patient. Something that I had to learn to have because there was a time patience was sorely lacking.

It’s not the end of the life in my years, but a new beginning and hopefully many more years. Some of my best days are ahead of me.