 |
| Published by Enlightenment |
In 2005,
after the release of her book "Standing
In The Light of My Truth" Maxx was interviewed
by reporter and writer Christal A. Cooper via phone and email.
CAC: How would you describe your book?
SMM: My book exalts the human spirit and demonstrates
the resilience of it. The essays are provocative and show that one
is capable of withstanding whatever traumatic event that comes one’s way
without any harm to one’s spirit self. They call attention to my
belief that, because one is human and spirit, one have a natural response to
recover from or adjust easily to change or misfortune. It integrates
philosophy with methods and practices that promote self-awareness and self
discovery. It honors the trials and triumphs of overcoming the
challenges of being both human and spirit. The exercises are
practical, and intended to help increase self-awareness and promote
self-discovery.
CAC: You write in Chapter 1 that God is not a religion, that
He reveals Himself to all even if you’re not religious. Quote
unquote. If you’re not connected to God by religion, what or who is
He to you? Does He have a face? What does He sound
like? Describe Him, and as you characterize, your “profound
relationship” with Him.
SMM: I’m sure glad you asked this question. God is the
Energy that moves through my soul and extends out into the
universe. He is the goodness that’s inside me. He is the
strength that helps me face life’s challenges. He is the joy that I
feel, the hope that keeps me moving forward, my reassurance. He is
the love I feel for my children, my friends, my siblings. He is my
aspirations and dreams—my destiny. He is my patience, drive, and
perseverance. He is the writer in me, teacher in me, and yes, He is
the woman and mother in me. He is my Maker—the producer and director
of my life story. He is coincident, intuition, instinct, and gut
feeling. Yes, He does have a face. I see Him in the faces
of my children and grandchildren showing love for me. I see Him in
everyone who has ever come into my life, even for a brief moment, and bestowed
something good upon me. I see Him in every human being and
situation—man and woman, girl and boy, rich and poor. I see
Him in nature—a beautiful rose, a sunrise, a sunset, a snow–capped mountain, a
blue sky, a rainbow. I see Him in animals—a cat, dog, goldfish, bird
that comforts its owner. What does He sound like? He
sounds like beautiful music, a soul-stirring song, a child’s cry, a lullaby, a
soft voice, and roaring laughter. In nature, He sounds like a
babbling spring, a strong wind, pouring rain, waves washing upon the shore, and
even frogs croaking in the night. He sounds like silence. He
is that comforting, reassuring, protective voice inside
me. Concerning my “profound relationship” with Him, I don’t let
anything, (anymore,) obstruct my heart from connecting to all the good that’s
in the world in every shape, form, or fashion, and I see Him. I open
my heart and connect to all of the sounds in the world that make me feel good
inside or cause me to pause and listen intently, and I hear Him. I
interpret what I see and hear, and everything that resonates inside me, and
relate it to my own life or situation by remembering for everything there is a
reason. Every time I look for a deeper meaning to things, I engage
Him. Thanks for asking me this question!
CAC: Would you characterize your book as a religious book or
a spiritual one?
SMM: It’s definitely not a religious book or a book about
religion. I would characterize it as Philosophy (consciousness and
thought) and Self-Help (Discovery) Techniques. That’s how it’s
cataloged with the Library of Congress and where it will be shelved in bookstores.
CAC: What made you decide to write this book?
SMM: It was my destiny to write this book. I know that
sounds corny to some, but it’s true. When I originally wrote the
essays, I didn’t plan to publish them in a book. Each essay was
written at a different time in my growth. As I evolved, I modified
them to include my increased awareness…Friends who have been inspired by my
life experiences, believed others would benefit as they had from my philosophy
and lessons learned, and encouraged me to share them in a book. I
think Michele, a good friend and teacher, was the most
persistent. She often said, “Maxx, you have to write a
book.” “I am. I am,” I would say. She would
then say, “You better.”
CAC: Why did you decide to self-publish rather than
shop your book to a mainstream publisher?
SMM: I could have shopped it, but I wasn’t inspired
to do that. Self-publishing is no longer synonymous with
self-defeating after the successes of many noted authors like James
Redfield (a native Alabamian). He self-published “The
Celestine Prophecy”, which was the book that helped shape my spiritual
philosophy more than any other besides the stories in the Bible, and by word of
mouth sold 100,000 copies before Warner Books purchased the rights to it for
$800,000. Publishers turned his book down time and time
again. I don’t know if my book will realize that kind of success
(I’m hopeful), but my point is that Redfield believed so much in what he was
inspired to write that he didn’t let a “Not right for our list” rejection
letter stop him from getting his manuscript in print. He rallied his
friends and supporters and got it done. I feel that way about my
book. I have no doubt that, for me, self-publishing was the right way to
go. Many people don’t know there are many famous authors who first
self-published their book before a mainstream publisher purchased the rights to
it...there are the likes of Edgar Allen Poe, (whose work didn’t gain notoriety
until after his death,) Henry David Thoreau, Langston Hughes, Elizabeth Barrett
Browning, Ernest Hemingway, Virginia Woolf, Mark Twain, Stephen King, Nikki
Giovanni, W. E. DuBois, and L. Ron Hubbard (Dianetics), just to name a
few.
CAC:
I have other questions about the success of the book, but I’ll come back to
them. I want to bring up the autobiographical essay. Could you
expound on what you meant by, “When you have truly forgiven someone, it’s
not supposed to hurt anymore.”
SMM: I
spent a lot of energy, time, and cried a lot of tears putting my past in right
perspective. I became enlightened by the experience. I found
acceptance, and from that I was able to forgive. With that said, what’s
left? Let go. Why keep holding on, hurting and suffering in
silence? That’s what it meant, when you go through the process—and
healing is a process—you are supposed to emerge pain free. Tears may
trickle down your cheeks when you think about it, and that would be natural (in
my opinion) because it was a sensitive time in your past. I found myself
shedding a few tears reading back over what I had written about my relationship
with my stepmother. I was not crying because I was still hurting.
It was like I was watching a movie about someone else. I felt for the
young girl who had to endure that kind of treatment for so many years. It
was no different than watching a movie and crying because one of the characters
had to endure some horrific treatment. But, that girl is now a grown
woman, and she controls how someone treats her. As I write in my book,
when I cried to George back in ’84, I was crying for the young girl and the
grown woman. We were both still very much entangled in the pain of our
past. His point was that if you are hurting and feeling sorry for
yourself at the same time claiming a spiritual transformation from anger and
contempt, (as I was doing at that time,) then you have not forgiven. At
some point, you have to move past it. Since none of us know when our last
day is, it becomes a matter of whether you want to leave this world with anger
and contempt, and pain and suffering inside you. I believe, at some
point, it comes down to simply a choice.
CAC: In the autobiographical essay,
you mentioned that you would watch your father from a distance “and
remember how content he seemed when he was creating something?” Do
you believe his creativity helped develop your own creativity; thus, he was
more than a father in your story but a mentor in some way?
SMM: Seeing
my father so calm when he was making a bench or chair or table probably did
help shape my way of using writing to close out the world. He
probably turned to furniture making to calm his rage. That’s how I
saw him— raging one moment, and quiet and peaceful the next. That’s
exactly how writing became a part of my life—to calm the rage and give a voice
to my emotions and feelings. So, you’re right—my father was an
inconspicuous mentor in my life story.
CAC: Why did you say that he was an
“inconspicuous mentor”?
SMM: I used “inconspicuous” because I don’t believe he was
aware that I was gawking at him. He seemed in deep, deep thought,
whenever he was making something. I used to wonder, ‘What is he
thinking about?’ Now, I wonder if he knew I was
there. Maybe, he did know I was there.
CAC: Another question from your
autobiographical essay. You wrote, “Those judgmental
thoughts also tried to impose guilt on me for not being a traditional southern
mother who sacrifices her career goals, her happiness, her destiny for the sake
of her children.” Does this mean that the traditional mother is
a better mother?
SMM: No. Absolutely not. It does not
make her a better mother. It doesn’t make her a worse one
either. We all make choices. Every woman chooses what she
believes is best for her. If she wants to live the role of a
traditional mother and woman, more power to her. I always felt that
if I didn’t find a way to be the best mother I could be and fulfill
my aspirations and dreams, I would end up resenting my life. So, I
found a way to have a deep relationship with my children that still exists to
this day, and live life on my own terms where my desires and
happiness were just as important to me as theirs were to me. It
wasn’t always smooth sailing doing both, but it proved to be the right
thing for me.
CAC: You describe the 1980s as a
time “of self-discovery, letting go, and spiritual
rejuvenation.” Was there a specific event that
triggered this self-discovery?
SMM: When I look back on my life, I can clearly
see that I’ve always been searching for the true meaning of life, and how I,
specifically, fit into that. Moving down to L.A. in ’81 sparked my
self-discovery. I needed something to make sense of life in general,
so I went inside myself, since I couldn’t connect to whatever I was searching
for on the outside of me.
CAC: The 1980s was also a time
in which you were awakened to what you were capable of as far as writing—was
there a particular event that brought about this awakening and what piece(s)
did you write?
SMM: It was a very talented man who encouraged me to delve
into my writing. I wrote him a poem for his birthday, and he put it
to a song and sang it to me. He told me that I had a gift, and I
shouldn’t let it go to waste. Soon after that conversation with him,
I got a confirmation that God was expecting the same thing from me via the poem
“A Dream Deferred” by Langston Hughes. I had read the poem
many years earlier, but this time it resonated. It goes: “What
happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the
sun? Or fester like a sore—and then run? Does it stink
like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over—like a syrupy
sweet? Maybe it just sags like a heavy load. Or does it
explode?” Well, I wasn’t going to let my dream rot inside
me. So I started writing, and have never stopped. My
first literary piece was a short story titled “The Voice of My Conscience.” It
won an international literary award recognition in ‘88. Since then,
the same story has evolved, (as I have evolved,) from a 3,200–word
short story to a 20,000–word novelette and re-titled it, “Cold Case: The
Voice of My Conscience.” It’s a story about obsessive love,
murder, and voodoo. It’s included in my collection of novelette
length stories titled, “Love Tells No Lies, Modern Women Stories.”
CAC: In several essays, you
demonstrated the power of words. In Chapter 4 “I Am Not Nice!” Chapter
5 “How Great Are You?” Chapter 8 “Force of Words” and
in Chapter 9 “Try Not…Do…Or Do Not.” I gathered in these
chapters that you are addressing the importance of saying clearly what you mean
and knowing what you are saying. In other words—good
communication. How important is good communication in order for an
individual to experience spiritual awakening?
SMM: The
old adage, “say what you mean and mean what you say” applies to everything
communicated, as far as I’m concerned. On the other hand, for anyone
to even consider anything spiritually demonstrates a belief in a power that is
superior to one’s human self. Therefore, my belief is that the first
step to embracing your spirit self is to believe. But to wake up
spiritually, I believe you have to be able to ‘hear’. I don’t mean
the process of perceiving sound. I mean to gain knowledge by
‘hearing.’ People can clearly communicate wisdom intended to inspire
you, but if you’re not in the right frame of mind or place inside you to ‘hear’
in order to benefit from the inspiration, then you’ll keep sleep-walking with
your beliefs until you get to that place. So, I believe, at least
for me, that being in a place inside you where your beliefs have positioned you
to ‘hear’ clearly is necessary to experience a spiritual awakening.
CAC: Would you characterize your
writing as being synonymous with this “good communication”?
SMM: I
want to be understood more than agreed with. I understand many
perspectives, but I don’t agree with them all. That’s how some will
receive my book. As far as whether my writing could be considered
“good communication,” I strive for my writing to be evocative and
unambiguous. In order for that to happen, I have to communicate
effectively. I write plainly so that most people can understand
me.
CAC: Is it important to
question God in order to experience spiritual awakening?
SMM: I believe God is to you what you believe He
is. I believe if I ask for understanding, He will bestow it upon
me. It was necessary that I had a true understanding in order for me
to fully wake up spiritually. So, I had to ask Him questions, and He
gave me what I needed to know—no more and no less. As far as I’m
concerned, the scripture “Lean not to thou own understanding” says it all.
CAC: How important is it for an
individual to be human? For an individual to be a spiritual
being? How can one bring the two to perfect harmony?
SMM: If you don’t subscribe to the belief that we are
spirit and human, then none of this will make sense to you. God
created us first spirit then human. Our spirit self is changeless
and requires nothing. However, our human self is always changing
because it is the catalyst that arouses our spirit self to live its
power. Take for instance, as humans we can feel incredible sadness
and intense anger. To relieve our suffering, most of us turn to our
spirit self, which is equipped with God’s healing powers. Since we
are human, we have to be convinced that there is another side to
us. My belief is that adversity is just a mechanism to convince us
that, at the spirit level, we are bigger, more powerful than our circumstance. Therefore,
when I seek change, I turn to that part of me that is changeless—the spirit—for
directions and guidance. For me, that’s perfect harmony—the human
embracing the spirit.
CAC: In
the essay “Fear Not, Love Inside Out,” you
write: “Envy is a bit more sinister than jealousy.” What
makes envy more sinister than jealousy? In other words, what is the
difference between the two?
SMM: It’s interesting that you ask me this question, because I
just recently watched a movie, based on a true story, that depicted what I
described in my book. An envious person not only resents what you
have, he or she wants exactly what you
have. Nothing different. It could be your home, your
spouse, your family, or your position. The person is obsessed with
wanting to be you. The intent is to deprive you of what you have so
they can have it. As I see it, jealousy is
short-lived. It’s fleeting and usually about petty
stuff. It seems to surface when there’s something ‘new’
involved. It could be over someone’s new car or new dress or new job
or coming into money. As soon as the one who is jealous has
something good that happens in their life or something ‘new’ to boast about,
the jealousy ends. The jealous one doesn’t begrudge what the other person has. He
or she just wants it because they feel if something good happens to someone
else, it should happen to them, too, whether he or she deserves
it. Unfortunately, I have experienced people in both
groups. I have a girlfriend who spent years working with someone who
was envious of her. But I now know that it’s just fear
masquerading. That’s why I characterized them as symptoms of fear in
that essay.
CAC: You write also in “Fear
Not, Love Inside Out,” “For me, it entailed changing my mind and
not my behavior. My behavior was a result of my thoughts, because
what we think, we do. Therefore correction had to occur in the
mind—the only level where change is possible and God’s guidance is needed.” How
did you accomplish this?
SMM: I use self-talk to increase my personal insight about
myself. The mind is powerful, and I have found that you must
constantly guard it against all of the “junk” that gets tossed your
way. If a negative thought enters my mind, I challenge
it. “What’s this about?” “Where did that thought come
from?” I don’t bury it. I take it on. I delve
deep for the real meaning. When I believe that I understand the
origin of it and why it surfaced, I talk myself into a new
understanding. There is no end to self-talk. I’m like a
sentry when it comes to my mind.
CAC: You wrote, “I triumphed over
those negative words that my stepmother used on me but not before I went
through an emotional hell trying to get them out of my mind.” Many
people of verbal abuse often find that the hardest test is to not repeat what
was done to them. What specifics can you illustrate that helped you
overcome this? How did you triumph over those negative words that
your stepmother used on you by not using them on your children?
SMM: I just can’t imagine treating someone like
that. Especially, my children. Whatever abuse I suffered,
I didn’t want to pass that on to my children, or anyone. I just
didn’t have it in me to call my children deleterious names, beat them with
boards and braided tree branches, or brandish a gun at them. I can’t
even imagine that happening. They wouldn’t have stood for it,
anyway. I wanted them to love and respect me, not fear me.
CAC: To follow-up on the previous question, I wanted to know
specific steps you took, rather it was thinking certain thoughts, or meditating
on a certain color that helped you not to speak to your kids the way your
stepmother spoke to you. Something, perhaps, the reader could
mimic to see if it would work in his or her own life.
SMM: I believe one does what one imagines one is capable of
doing. I could never imagine myself consciously and
deliberately, and in my right mind, causing my children to feel worthless and
unloved. It is a horrendous feeling to have someone hurl words,
dripping venom, at you like you have no emotions and
feelings. Cussing out my children was not in my heart, even though I
had been treated like that. And, thank God! So, I have
nothing else to offer on this, except, do not imagine someone you love having to
go through a horrific experience similar to what you went
through. Imagine a different life for them.
CAC: How did you come up with the six questions in your
exercise “Private Self-Investigation”?
SMM: They came to me by inspiration to help my sister, Angela,
and I discover things about ourselves. As I wrote in the book, we
were on this journey of self-discovery together for a year. I
experienced some profound changes, and revelations that have helped me
tremendously.
CAC: Must one have to answer these questions in order to find
that spiritual contentment?
SMM: Although we have similar trials, we experience them
differently. These questions helped me. But, they may not
work for another. I believe, if taken seriously, one can benefit
from the experience with this exercise. I realize there will be
those who will discover something in my book that will help them move forward
in their lives. Others will not. So, no, you don’t have
to answer these questions in order to find spiritual contentment.
CAC: Are these six questions only to be asked once in a
person’s lifetime or as many times as needed?
SMM: We evolve, and as we evolve we grow in awareness and become
more enlightened. With that self-awareness, we discover new
possibilities to explore, and limitations to accept. So to ask
yourself, more than once in your lifetime, “What is possible for me and what
limits my possibilities?” demonstrates a clear commitment to your own growth—in
my opinion.
CAC: Do you believe there is such a thing as universal truth?
SMM: Truth is subjective. It is what you believe it
is. No one person can claim exclusivity to the truth. If
others share your ‘truth’ across the world, then your truth is
universal. There are many ways to look at a situation, and still
come away with truth. It’s just a matter of how you perceive it.
CAC: What was the greatest challenge for you writing this
book?
SMM: My greatest challenge with this book was writing the
autobiographical essay—hands down. It was not originally in the
first draft of the book. It’s one thing sitting around or on the
phone chatting with your girlfriend, reminiscing about the past. But
to open yourself up to hundreds of strangers and expose your personal life is
another story. About seven years ago, I had a dream where I was
sitting in a chair in a large room naked with my right arm and hand covering my
breasts. Having to answer this question brought back the memory of
that dream. That’s how I felt writing my autobiographical
essay—naked.
CAC: Why should someone buy your book? What would
be the benefit to them reading it?
SMM: I would recommend someone to buy my book because it is a
treasure trove for contemplation and enlightenment. If the person is
seeking those things, there is ‘something’ in it to help him or her discover it. Whatever
that ‘something’ the reader gains from my book will be more valuable than the
cost of it.
CAC: What are your expectations for this book? I
mean, how do you see it doing in the marketplace, impacting people, etc.
SMM: I only expect good things for my book. We have
similar trials and triumphs, and by sharing our life experiences is how we find
the answers we seek to life’s questions, and how we advance our own personal
and spiritual growth. It’s what resonates most with us more than
anything else. I have been changed or encouraged or inspired or motivated by
‘something’ someone shared with me about their life. Since my book
is mostly autobiographical, I expect it to do likewise.
CAC: Do you think your book will be controversial?
SMM: It shouldn’t be. It’s intended to be
enlightening. I do believe my book will provoke deep discussions and
soul-searching. It’s a book for those looking to increase their
awareness. I offer them my perspective for their enlightenment.
CAC: This will be the last question. What do you
think your critics will say about your book, and what do you say to them?
SMM: Constructively, a critic may say that I didn’t go far enough
in explaining my perspectives—they’re too simple and
straightforward. I would say, there is a natural end to each
chapter. I did not want the reader so barred down in how I did it
that it causes them to feel beleaguered about their own progress because
they’re trying to do it exactly like I did it. I’m satisfied that I
have expressed enough relative insights in each chapter to benefit someone’s
personal and/or spiritual growth. The reader can, if he or she so
chooses, take what I have written into their heart, contemplate on it until it
makes sense to their own life or situation, and then decide his or her course
of action, if any. I feel confident in my approach because I believe
each human being has innate wisdom. That is—we come into the world
with all we need to know (spiritually) already inside us. We just
need some ‘thing’ to awaken us or simply inspire, encourage, or motivate us to
stand in the power of what we know. An essay or exercise in my book
could be the ‘thing’ that causes that to happen.
